Snap! Learning To Engage

In the twentieth chapter of our new book, Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls, Dr. Pepper and I discuss staying active and engaged with your partner. Enjoy this, another free sample!

Have connection without distraction. Connection is one ingredient that every relationship must have to be viable. Being connected is like being attached to each other. For connection to happen, couples have to link themselves through shared meaning, shared emotions, shared experiences, and shared values, among other possibilities.

Connection to one another and developing “us” means making contact on many levels— socially, intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These connections grow and change and have to be rebooted now and then. Rebooting means staying close and engaged so you can make your updates regularly.

You’ll see couples having dinner together, but really, they’re on their phones, sending texts, or opening up websites to show each other. There is no exchange of the senses, no touch, no eye contact, nothing sensual at all. It is hard for us to imagine a lively, loving, sensual relationship conducted through surfing the Internet.

Connection requires talking, touching, smelling, hearing, and seeing each other; so far that doesn’t happen over the Internet. We believe that technology is demeaning the person you love. Turn off the web and turn on your partner.

As always, for the other pages of the chapter and the rest of the book, order here!