In this chapter of our new book, Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls, Dr. Pepper and I offer handy tips for seeing where your relationship might be headed. Please enjoy the free sample!
You don’t need a crystal ball, a fortune-teller, or a therapist to know what is going to happen next in your relationship. If you are aware of yourself and your partner, you will know that most future outcomes are predictable given past behaviors.
There are ways in which we can change and other ways we cannot. We all have some personality characteristics that are the bedrock of how we think and act in the world. Although we are capable of behavior modification over time, our personalities are rarely totally redesigned. There are characteristics that don’t change at all for most people. For example, some research has asserted that the need for order, a state in which everything is in its correct or appropriate place, is an inborn personality characteristic; that is, it is hardwired in the brain. A person with a high need for order may want the bed made perfectly everyday and all clothing hung in the closet with all the hangers facing the same direction and each color segregated from the other. A person with a low need for order may not even see or care whether the bed is made, and the clothing can be in the closet or not. If two partners are on opposite sides of the continuum on this characteristic, each person can make modifications to accommodate the other, but the root difference will still be there.
Again, for the other pages of the chapter and the rest of the book, order here!