Snap! Neglecting “Us"

In the next chapter of our new book, Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls, Dr. Pepper and I stress the importance of seeing your relationship as a single unit.  As a single "Us".   Enjoy the free sample!

An intimate relationship between partners is something bigger than each of you as individuals. Who you are, what you do, and the things you say—all of this changes when you commit to a partner. It is no longer just your own beliefs and experiences or just your partner’s. Now there is “US,” and us has to be bigger than you or me. As Aristotle wrote, “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” and that concept applies here. Together you are more than you are separately; that is what the “us” does. It creates synergy, or the increased effectiveness that results when two (or more) people work together.

As you probably guessed, creating the “us” is neither quick nor simple. Couples sometimes think that once they are married they are a couple and automatically they have “us.” We agree they have an “us,” but it is a seedling that needs care and nurturing, and lots of time to grow and change. They will need to engage in continuous dialogue about the  boundaries between “me,” “you,” and “us.” That’s the fun of a threesome.

Again, for the other pages of the chapter and the rest of the book, order here!