In the eighth chapter of our new book, Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls, Dr. Pepper and I discuss how some issues may unable to be resolved, and how this doesn't necessarily mean something toxic. Have a look at our introduction to it!
If you cannot work through an issue, go around it. Not everything in a relationship is fixable, changeable, or movable. Sometimes you honestly disagree and no amount of conversation or evidence is going to change your mind or your partner's. There are ways to move past a blocked subject rather than be stuck in a torturously repetitive revolving door.
It is a myth that problems, issues, and disagreements have to be resolved. They don't. You and your partner will get exhausted if you try to bring everything in your relationship to consensus. Even if you are "soul mates" and the best of friends, the fact is that two different people will have some conflicting perceptions, needs, and beliefs that never fit together, no matter how hard you try. These conflicts may range from the trivial to the critical and it is not dishonest to work around some of them rather than take them on headlong.
It might seem that you can agree to disagree: that is great if it works, but often it isn’t a solution either. It can be hard to let go of something your partner wants or does when you simply believe it is wrong and every time the subject comes up the hair on the back of your neck stands straight up.
Don't forget, for the other pages of the chapter and the rest of the book, order here!