Snap! Creating Desire

In the next chapter of our new book, Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls, Dr. Pepper and I demonstrate how to keep desire alive.   Enjoy the free sample!

Desire is a longing, a craving, and an appetite for one another that deepens the bonds between partners. In new relationships, hormones take charge and propel you into love and lust. But over time, the love and lust hormones fade into a nice friendly pace of life. Familiarity tones down those raging hormones and relationships can become comfortable, but boring. And boredom leads to discontent, and perhaps a wandering eye or a need to look for love and excitement elsewhere.

We want you to escape boredom by trying romantic and sexual innovation. Couples can spark desire in their relationship in a variety of ways. But there is one way that always works: Create new venues for novel experiences. Try a new sex toy, make love on a deserted (you hope!) beach, or talk each other into viewing a pornographic film.

Many of us feel like we get out of the habit or think our partner doesn’t enjoy us sexually anymore — even if our partner does! Research shows that arousal is amplified by a partner’s arousal, and that the feeling of being wanted is a critical element of intimacy. Losing that connection is depressing and distressing for at least one partner and usually both.

Again, for the other pages of the chapter and the rest of the book, order here!